Bad Toaster Karma

By Sandy Hu
The latest from Inside Special Fork

My toast took a flying leap, catapulting out of the toaster, splat onto the kitchen floor. This is not the first time my bread has shot out like a cannonball, soaring past the counter, ending up in the garbage.

In our house, we have bad toaster karma.

This is our third toaster in recent times. The one we had before lowered our toast into the slot electronically. It was fun to watch the bread majestically descend. The only problem was that the machine wouldn’t make toast!

Once the bread disappeared into the slot, instead of the heat being activated automatically, as advertised, we’d have to stand there and hit the “toast” button several times. After months of aggravation and cold bread, we returned that one.

A toaster should be a simple appliance, right? The bread goes down, the heat turns on, the bread comes up. You can get a toaster for as little as $7.99.

But in our house, looks count. Steve and I go for design first. Each defective toaster looked really nice on the counter. They just couldn’t do the job.

We did have a toaster we liked – a Kitchen Aid retro toaster that looked great and toasted well, too. But the “on” lever broke and no appliance repair shop will fix it.

Until I exchange our current toaster for another good-looking loser, I think I’ll make my toast using alternate methods, like in the following recipes from the Special Fork recipe database:

  • Eggs in the Hole -- you cut a hole in the center of the bread, toast the bread in a skillet and fry an egg in the hole; my childhood favorite.
  • Texas Toast with Italian Inspiration -- Katie Barreira’s riff on the classic: she takes thick slabs of Grilled Texas-style toast and gives it a bruschetta topping. Until tomatoes are back in season, you could substitute frozen pesto.
  • Dubliner Breakfast Toast -- Andrew Hunter slices crusty sourdough bread and tops it with a mixture of garlic, butter and grated Dubliner cheese; broil until melted. Yum!
  • Crostini -- everyone’s favorite crisp toast is baked in the oven; spread with tapenade, hummus or white bean dip.

Photo by Andrew Hunter

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Posted: Jan 12th by Sandy_Hu